I was already in the secondary school before I realised that the word
“Radionic” does not exist in the English Language. My uncle,
“broda Jimoh” was our 'radionic' for a long time before repairing
TV and radios went out of fashion and okada riding became enticing.
So, in those days, all professions should end in -onic, -cian, and
-ing. Forming a noun out of a profession or endeavour simply required
the addition of those suffixes, therefore the etymology of the word
'radionic'. Several things trended while I was in the secondary
school, especially in fashion and style. The one that formed the crux
of this piece was the 'tag thing'. Students would pull designer
labels off old clothes and sew it to their skirts, shorts or shirts.
It was a sort of fashion statement. But to some, it was a form of
cover up for torn uniforms.
My school was one
of the prominent few in the country, it's the foresight of God's own
people – Olivet Baptist High School, Oyo. The students were superb,
elegant, intelligent, prolific and highly ingenious. We usually have
binomial nomenclature in my school, exceptions only in the case of
alias. So we had names like Adekunle Ajasin, Ogunweyinwo Ademola, Ojo
Aderonke, Adewale Adeyemi. One of such prolific students with an
alias was 'lexy' (not real name). He came to school one Monday
morning with a label gaily starched to his short. The label almost
went unnoticed until when during the assembly a boy called the
attention of others to the inscription on it “BONGO”! Everybody
burst into a muffled laughter at the sight, after the assembly the
name spread and stuck, even when he changed the short.
Lexy's ingenuity
was of a kind, he could repair any form and brand of pen (biro). He
would change a bic biro tube with an Eleganza's and switch balls from Tuns to Bic. He could tenderly
repair a faulty ball and refill a dried-up biro. These he would do
neatly and efficiently, with him no biro was a waste. He was a biro
consultant. So what do you call someone that repairs a biro?
“Bironic” of course!
His ability to
repair biros pre-dated his bongo fashion sense, so when he stuck the
label, the binomial nomenclature was activated and he became “Bongo
Bironic”. Oh what a name!
Like a change of
name, pulling off your nickname in the secondary school was not an
easy task, it was like peeling off your skin. Your best bet is to
pray for a better event that will engendered a new and better alias,
if not don't try to fight it. Some nicknames would not last a term
while others may last an eternity. Don't be surprised if a long lost
friend holla your nickname in the mall several decades after leaving
school.
Bongo did the
silly thing, he tried to fight the name. Those who could not
withstand him in physical strength whispered the name in his absence
while those he could not dare for a fight tormented him with the
nomenclature. At a point it was agreed that everyone should respect
him and stopped the name calling but inadvertently the name kept
coming up.
“Please have you
seen lexy”
“Which lexy”?
“Bongo Bironic”
I'm not sure anyone remembers the nickname nor the bearer, but it keeps coming every time I see a Lipton tea tag.