It's a feel good Friday today, so greetings to those of you in Lagos,
especially those who will have to enjoy the Redemption Camp traffic
today. You see, the Prez will be in town. One wonders what will
happen this year, given that he knelt before Daddy GO last time round.
Maybe he will pick pin? Or open his mouth and suck something? You see,
opening our mouths to suck something is an indignity that those of us
travelling out of Nigeria from next year will have to face as the World Health Organisation has ruled that we will
all be vaccinated for polio.
Polio!
There are only four countries in the world that have polio,
Afghanistan, Chad and Pakistan being the others. It has been eradicated
elsewhere, so you can understand when earlier this year, Nepal
announced that they will stop giving us visas. They don't want us to
come and infect their people. But then maybe, just maybe, eradicating
polio is one of the things that will be on Mr. Prez's prayer list when
he arrives in Lagos to cause traffic later today.
Traffic, being one of the huge problems of this pretender to mega-city
status, used to be eased (in a manner of speaking) by motorcycle taxis,
better known as okada.
Without providing much by way of viable alternatives, the state's
government severely restricted those okada.
Granted the okada riders were
a major menace, but this time around, they decided to at least try and
act civilised. They took Lagos to court, and they lost. Lesson number one, when a law is
making its way through the legislative process, pay attention.
Sadly, attention deficit is something that is quite common around these
parts being that we spend a great deal of time queueing for petrol. To
make us better citizens, our Senate yesterday approved the Prez's request
for offering money. It is said that the grant will enable me to have
petrol in my tank when I drive along that road that Doyin Okukpe claims
to have fixed in just over a week's time. What I find amazing
personally, is the alacrity with which the request was granted. For our
rather lethargic Senate, two days (the Prez sent the request on
Tuesday) is Usain Bolt territory...
Speed is probably the best virtue in the Ogwashi-Uku area nowadays as
people must be contemplating hitch-hiking out given that the Army has
gotten tired of waiting for the police in the bid to claim first prize
in rescuing Prof. Okonjo, mother of our Minister of the Economy.
Following Delta governor, Uduaghan's declaration 139 hours ago that
Prof. Okonjo "would be released in 24 hours", it took the police 76 of
those hours to arrest two people in connection with the abduction. The
Army has now stepped in, and in just over 24 hours has shown the police how to do it. 63 people have
been, err, abducted, and are now singing Christmas carols at an army
base not too far away. Meanwhile, Prof. Okonjo is still nowhere to be
found.
Bits and bobs
Fresh from abandoning them in their hour of need, Nigeria's government has suddenly remembered that our former citizens
in Bakassi are being harassed by their new masters. Oh well, as the old
proverb goes, better late than never.
Following the "kidnapping" of his son by errant EFCC officials, Jigawa
state agbada, Sule Lamido has
clarified that his son, Aminu, was not washing money for him. State
parrot, Umar Jitau says that Aminu's daughter, the governor's grand
daughter, has a spinal cord problem, and needed to be treated in Egypt.
If only we had hospitals in Nigeria, the governor would not have been
subjected to such monumental embarrassment...
Meanwhile we are officially the seventh largest money
laundering nation in the world according to Transparency International,
behind such nice people as the Chinese (manufacturing), Mexico (drugs),
Malaysia (drugs), Saudi Arabia (oil), Russia (guns) and the Philippines
(slaves). Expect a rebuttal from the Presidency by close of business
today. But in my humble opinion, since there are no plans to change the way we do business, the
only way up that list is up.
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